Further Polishing of Vessel of Dreams…

I’m actually really glad sent out her open call for YA UF. I’ve been tempted to do something with VoD for awhile, but have been too intimidated by the thought of the extensive work it would need. Fortunately, having completed two more novels since then seems to have given me the tools I need to handle the job. Yay! It shouldn’t take too much more polishing to have this in good-to-go condition.

Psst. Would anyone have time to take a look at it and just give general impressions? It’s down to 78k now, and I expect to get it closer to 70k by the time I’m finished. Just let me know if you have time!

ETA: I removed the query cause it sucked. Hee. Will re-post after I do a complete overhaul. Thanks Jill!


5 responses to “Further Polishing of Vessel of Dreams…

  1. I think your query needs more punch! I like the way your query starts out…but then you say the skeleton is constructed of magic and murder, and that doesn’t make sense.
    Also, the second paragraph should probably start with the character introduction. Like 18-YO Brianna, not the other way around 🙂
    And there doesn’t seem to be much confrontation other than “She meets her aunt and cousin and they don’t like each other”. How is this going to carry 80k? Be more specific, rather than “the world is in shades of grey”.
    Does that make sense? I’d write more but my wrist is killing me.

    • LOL. Yeah. What I need to do is scrap the old version entirely cause the original synopsis sucks. Problem is I never wrote a query letter either. Kay, scrapping this and back to the drawing board.
      Thanks for pointing out what I already knew. 😉

    • Awesome, thanks for the offer! =) I’m running through it for another polish, but I’m about halfway done. Would it be all right if I didn’t get it to you until tomorrow? Thanks!

      • Not a problem
        Whenever you are ready. Just email me at the address you have and at the same time you can let me know timeframe of when you need it back.