Absolutely Non-Writing Rant…

Gah. It’s hard to find the words to express my frustration right now. Sometimes our government and medical system really piss me off. We’re in such a shitty place with my brother right now, and it’s really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He has financial problems out the wazoo. He has no insurance. He has legal problems from a prior DWI and another minor, piddling traffic offense that is so stupid I can’t believe they even pursued it. And did I mention he has NO insurance? He keeps getting turned down for programs left and right–it’s like he’s falling straight through the cracks and I don’t know how to pull him back out. Every plan we come up with seems to get shot down, and my mother has run out of time. She needs to come back home on Friday, and we’re not sure if she’ll be able to bring him with her.

The hospital is very reluctant to release him without sending him to rehab. Well, HELLO people, NOBODY wants to take him without insurance! It’s uncertain whether he qualifies for Medicaid, and even if he does with the wonderful (ha!) changes our government has made regarding that program most rehab places are refusing to take him even if he’s on Medicaid. Basically, nobody wants to take responsibility for him there but they don’t want to let my mom bring him home to be with his family. Oh, and I forgot to mention the absolute best part of all. My brother refuses to believe that our mother is his mother. REFUSES. He remembers bits and pieces of his life and it seems like he’s starting to try and put them back together, but he keeps adamantly insisting that SHE is not his “real” mom, that she’s just pretending to be his mom. So, even if mom somehow gets them to agree to let her take him with her on Friday…he will probably refuse to go. And how do you make a grown man (no matter how small) do something he doesn’t want to do? Bottom line is you can’t.

I sent her an overnight package yesterday with various pictures I had of my brother by himself and with family members during his childhood up through adulthood, along with some emails he had sent me while he was still in the Navy a few years ago. Obviously I am praying that, even if they can’t jog his memory to remember, that at least they can help make him BELIEVE that she’s his mom. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what else we can do…

Mom and I are just lost and uncertain at the moment and fearing having to leave him there alone in Virginia at the mercy of the hospital and government. But really, what choice do we have? She can NOT afford to take any more time off work as the abundant amount of sick time she had saved up for several years is running out (if it hasn’t already). My mother has two teenagers she’s trying to take care of and she does it on a Wal Mart salary with limited child support from my ex-stepfather. We live 1000 miles away from where all this is taking place, and the decks are so stacked against us it’s not even funny.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m exceedingly glad that my brother’s alive for us to have to worry about all these issues, and I thank God for that fact every day. But what good is it for him to have survived all this if we can’t convince him we’re his family and that he needs to come back home to Missouri? He’s still mentally incompetent, so what–will Virginia have to make him a ward of the state? Will they take proper care of him or are they just going to give him the bare minimum of care, deem him “recovered,” and toss him back out to fend for himself? If that ends up being the case, chances are all their effort and money spent putting him back together physically may very well prove to be for naught.

For now, I guess all I can do is pray. Pray and hope for a miracle of some sort…

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