Breathing is My Friend…

Some of Evanescence’s songs are just so beautiful. Take this one on the radio as I am writing:

I wanted you to know
I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph;
I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You’ve gone away
You don’t feel me here, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn,
and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You’ve gone away
You don’t feel me here, anymore

Sad, of course, but also beautiful. It also eerily coincides with how I felt on Saturday night as I was fighting to breathe, struggling not to give into the encroaching darkness. If not for my husband Shawn and my friend Julie, I would have given up the fight and just…faded to black. *shiver* Very eerie.

***

At any rate, I finally got back to serious work on Vessel of Dreams last night. I yanked out the prologue at Catie’s suggestion and started going over the first three chapters with a fine-tooth comb. On this pass I am focusing on showing rather than telling–yes, that age-old writer’s mantra. Obviously, some telling is inevitable and at times necessary. But I have the bad habit of doing _too much_ telling rather than showing, especially in the beginning of the story until I find my rhythm. And since the beginning is the most vital part to _not_ do this since you are trying to entice an editor to read the entire story, obviously this is a necessary thing for me to overcome.

I must admit I got distracted by the tragedy that was game 4 of the World Series for awhile. I say tragedy because I live in St. Louis and am a Cardinals fan. And not one of those crappy Fair Weather Fans either. I stick with them through thick and thin. I’m actually happy for the Sox, but I am very disappointed that the Cardinals put forth such a sucky performance. I mean, come _on_. Only one or two of the guys was even getting good hits. It just figures that for the only decent game, game 1, I was too busy fighting to breathe due to being in the midst of anaphylaxis to actually pay attention to the game. All I remember is that during one of the brief moments of lucidity I looked at the tv and mumbled, “I never liked that Ben Affleck anyway” when he flashed across the screen. Of course, nobody else saw him so they all thought I was just hallucinating or something. *grin*

Er…where was I? Oh yes, writing. I worked through a few scenes and hope to get much farther tonight. I would love to finish up revising the first three chapters this weekend–barring any unforeseen disasters. Which may be easier said than done the way things are going lately!

Also, I have an appointment with the allergist tomorrow afternoon. Here’s hoping that we find out what I’m severely allergic to!!!

***

ROFL…okay now this is ironic. As I finish this entry now Melissa Ethridge’s “It only hurts when I’m breathing” is on…LOL…the radio is mocking me I tell you!

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